Sunday, July 21, 2013

Still kickin'

I don't know how many of you are out there yet, but I'm still around. I've had a little set back with my writing. Somehow life seems to love to throw a curve ball or two at you when you are having the time of your life.
Migraines seemed to have been my Achilles heel.  It kind of runs in my family but I thought I kind of out grew them.  Apparently, everything runs downhill after forty and it has been catching up with me over the last few.
My headaches had been getting so severe, I couldn't even take the time to read let alone write.  After several medications, chiropractor, massage, stem cell stimulation and most recently trigger point shots, they have been becoming more manageable.
Just when I was ready to devote my spare time and my over due passions, life decided to step in and hit me again.
Cancer.  Stage 3. Not me but my little brother.  The poor man has been battling a bad back over the last several months, almost making it unbearable to walk but the little stinker kept on working.  That's the kind of man he is. Sucking it up until he just couldn't take the pain any more, he went to the ER yet again for some relief to hold him over to the next doctor visit with a surgeon to discuss surgery.

To make an extremely long story short, this led to the discovery of a fractured hip bone along with a 4" tumor that decided to take up residency in his hip socket. Of course, wouldn't you know that this is one of the rarest forms of bone cancer out there - called Ewing Sarcoma. It isn't a type of cancer that shows up in blood work, which by the way, my brother has religiously performed ever since he was cured of the nasty Hodgkin's Cancer in his late teens.

So now 20+ years later my little bro has to battle a nastier version that its predecessor. This recent form of cancer is rare, undetectable by blood work and more dominate in males between the ages of 14-30. My little brother is a little over 40. Again, what are the chances?

Not only does he have this long road ahead of him, he also has to endure all of the chemo, radiation etc... with a broken hip. A hip that is too risky at this stage in the game to have surgery due to the bacteria infection that would surely follow.

I can't even imagine the pain that he has been enduring all this time doing the normal daily activities with a broken hip.  I have been praying non-stop for the doctors to finally start something and help shrink this tumor enough to stop the pressure on his broken hip and praying for the bones to miraculously heal on their own so surgery would no longer be needed. So many things way on this poor soul's mind that I find it so inspirational and amazing to see what a great attitude this guy has, even after hearing worst case scenario of possible amputation from the hip down if his leg doesn't hold up after the course of his regiment. (Given the another worst case scenario, yes, this worst case scenario still isn't the worst case by any means.)

I have been there by his side as much as I can and wish I could do more.  For someone who has been so private and so full of pride, it amazes me to see how much he lights up when he sees any member of our family or any of his friends.  He has such amazing friends too.  His one friend has been calling him daily, bought him a wheelchair and has been encouraging me throughout the last several weeks.

It's all so very scary and all so overwhelming and that's just feelings that I've been experiencing.  I can't even fathom the depth of his pain and ordeal that has been thrown at him.

We do have a good size family and he has all of our love and support but I can't help but feel that  there has to be something else I can do.  Something else I can get for him.  What can I do for his family and children? His oldest is just starting college this fall and his youngest, ninth.  This is going to be a long year and half for everyone. Not to mention what the future has in store for him and everyone else down the road.

How many curve balls are out there?

Bless your heart and thank you for hearing me out and if anyone could say a prayer or two for my little bro, I would be forever in your gratitude.